Halie Binstock is standing directly behind you, smiling, literally, right now.
Bailey Share-Aizic anxiously awaits the next season of Serial.
Maya Dorn has a selfie with Ira Glass.
Grace Handy: You’ve caught me on my least favorite day of the year.
Tekla Monson. hads fun.
Phillip Heilbron isn’t.
Nathan Pugh is the Tony-Award winning librettist to the musical, "Shrek 2: Shrek Reconsiders his Mortality.”
Ariel Fromm is tired.
John Jiang tragically passed away during rehearsal for his play.
10 SUMMERFIELDS LANE
Matt Grimaldi is. If he isn’t, he should be soon.
AyJay Mulholland can be found crying over her 100% full GCal or eating Whey (or both) but always has time for her fans.
Nicholas Angleton has probably never been to Norway.
Josh Dobrow is like Canada Dry because he’s polite, sarcastic, and contains no real nutritional value.
Matthew Seidenfeld knows what you did last summer
THE DEPRESSED VEGAN
Hugo Kessler’s best friend in the whole wide world is Siri. When he tells her this daily, she always replies: “friends are a social construct that I have not be programmed to respond to, but no.”
Dylan Shumway’s favorite gum flavor is spearmint.
Andy Hirsh wants to know... what is going on with this airline food?!?!?
Elizabeth Woolford is pretty sure that Michael Roth is the fifth horseman of the apocalypse.
Nick Cantin is a devout pastaferian.
Nika Litt will make you laught and cry, either through his artistic ability or by literal coercive force
Nell Buechler doesn’t believe you.
William Mahoney will be condemned to eternal torture in Hell for the sin of sloth.
Julia Chung’s cardinal sin is indecision and also maybe oyster crackers.
Eli Conlin has an above average number of cuticles.
AMERICAN HERO PAUL TURENNE
Max Halperin has 13 different tattoos and they are all Bugs Bunny eating a carrot
Miles Brooks doesn’t have a tattoo, but his butt is branded with his address so he never gets lost.
Nathan Krieger always angles himself toward the sunlight.
Sarah Jin checks every e-mail from Paul Turenne.
Adam Rahman's blood type is O-positive - as in, Oh he's positive that's 95% pizza grease.
Matt Grimaldi is. If he isn't, he should be soon.
24 HOUR COORDINATORS:
Annie Ning can be found picking blades of grass come spring.
Jordan Tragash continues to fail to see the point of a liberal arts education but chooses to live in ignorant bliss regardless.
Emma Johnson wishes there was a word for when smell of the metro through the sidewalk in winter.
Aaron Josephs can’t believe that it is butter.
THE YOUNG, FRIENDLY, AND ATTRACTIVE MEMBERS OF SECOND STAGE STAFF ARE:
Aaron “Ron Jenkins Can Get It” Josephs, Danielle “more like a rock” Lobo, Emma “Kinky Cookie Monster” Johnson, Annie “Lick it off Bitch” Ning, Gabe “Sticky Ice Cream” Drozdov, Hope “Love Chicken” Fourie, Susana “~(.)(.)~” Hair, Maggie “Ying-Yang Poop” Rothberg, Dominoe “Dominoe Jones and the Flame Throwers” Jones, Phillip “realest bitch in ct” Heilbron, Sam “FuckYouIDontWannaChangeMyNicknametoThat” Morreale, Jordan “The Plurality of Satan” Tragash
* Winner of the Anthony Brian Lexington Smith Award for fastest playwriting at 2.5 hours